Embrace your inner bitch and get what you want at home and from your husband.

Is your husband always complaining about sex? Not enough, no variety, same old stuff, nothing new? Does he pester you for"kinky" behavior? Well Ladies, how does this sound to you?

*Orgasm like never before.
*Feel the intense burning passion of your man's love whenever you want it.
*Feel like the sexiest woman on the planet when he's near you.
*Never fold or put away another piece of laundry ever again.
*Have him remember important dates and tasks.
*Get the kind of sex you want, every time you want it.
*Receive as many foot and body massages as you please.
* Be waited on hand and foot and pampered like a Queen.
*Assign him any "honey-do's" and chores you want done.
* Get him to communicate better and have conversations.
* Improve his bad habits and get him off the couch.


How, you ask? Give him what he wants a few times a week and you get everything you want, EVERY DAY of EVERY WEEK.
Read on for ideas, scenes and scenarios to bring out your DOMESTIC DOMINATRIX and have him eating from your
black silk covered gloved hand in no time.


Fundamentals of a happy Domestic Dominatrix

Follow these basics on a daily basis and let the fun begin:

* Your husband is not allowed to orgasm unless you give permission. Period. He is not allowed to "take matters into his own hands", either.
* As many times a day as you can you should fondle him and get him erect. Then kiss him passionately and remind him you are the boss and then send him off to complete a task for you.
* Be very affectionate and sexual with him in your interactions, but make sure to point out that this does not mean relief from his sexual frustration is coming his way. If it's possible send him off to work with an erection so he will thinking of you all day.
* You should enjoy sex together as often as you wish, but only let him orgasm when you choose, maybe every 3rd or 4th time. He should be able to show you some self control. Plus, it will keep him revved up for you any time you are ready. You can tell him beforehand or spring it on him at the last second that he gets no relief. Also have him go down on you frequently.
* Routinely TELL him what behavior you expect of him for the day and the week. This is the part of the relationship where you get what YOU want done. If you want to avail yourself of some mundane household chore, assign it to your husband. If there is some personal habit of his you want to address, be assertive. An effective technique is to tell your husband of these expected behaviors as you are stimulating him in some way so that they become reinforced with positive stimuli.
* Be intentional; wishy washy and passive will not get you what you want. Develop your assertiveness with your speech, and remember that ATTITUDE is everything.
* Do everything you can to make yourself feel feminine; manicures, facials, new underwear, spa treatments, whatever your desire. Don't worry, he'll pay for it.
Simply announce for instance: "Honey, I'm going shopping for a new bra and panties and to get a manicure, while I'm gone you will sweep out the garage and empty the dishwasher. If you've done a good job, I will let you see me in my new underwear tonight."

Sunday

Pampering the way you want it...

Pampering can actually be quite fun. With a little variation and planning you can enjoy rich personal pleasures from the man you love. The more you demand, the more you will get. Find things that please you as a woman. Push for everything you want. Assume you deserve it, tell him when he is doing a good job or correct him authoritatively when you want it differently. Teaching him how to do something is always good. Don't be afraid to be bitchy. Choose according to your taste.
Set the stage for him and you:
*Make sure the environment is private enough for what you want.
*He wants you in control so be in control.
*He wants you to seem bossy and demanding.
*He wants you to control his sex and likely does not want to climax but wants
to be teased and please you.
*He has a high interest in your body, involve him with it.
*Start by making a list of what he is going to do.
*Make a list of his behaviors/attitudes in serving you and how he is going to
do them.
*You might want him naked the whole time.
*If you are going out you will need to tell him what to wear.
*Create a hand written note to set the stage and explain your plan. His duties
should be noted.
*At some point where it makes sense, order him to strip naked and put away his
clothes.


Ideas for Pampering:
*Bathing you in a bubble bath or wash you in the shower
*Make him dress and undress you
*Have him cook and serve you dinner
*Have him serve you wine or any beverage you desire
*Command him to fetch things for you like another glass of wine.
*Have him kneel and rub and kiss your feet
*Request a full body rub with oil and candles
*Demand he go down on you while you sit or stand
*Have him go down on you in bed then fall asleep

What His Attitude Should Be While Pampering You
*eager to please - service with a smile
*serve me when I tell you and until I say stop
*this is about you, not him

How to Tease Him Sexually While He Pampers You

While you are clothed, order him to strip and stand at attention, command he not touch you, hover around him very closely and touch him until he is very aroused and then command him to do something for you that is not sexual
Have him kneel and rub your feet, with your free foot, play with him gently.
Have him strip for you then take off your clothes. Command him to shower you and in the shower demand he stand and face the wall with his hand on it while you grope between his legs until he almost climaxes. Then have him continue showering you with no orgasm for him.
You can touch him anytime but remain in control of his orgasm.

Take it from here and change it up every week. Use your imagination and get the pampering you want, whenever you want it.

Wednesday

The Ties That Bind...

One thing I cannot stress enough is to frequently (at least weekly, if not 3 times) tie your husband up. Men are "go,go,go" and must be made to slow down. Especially when it comes to you, the Domestic Dominatrix. Especially do this to the impatient types. It's delicious! Also, Please make sure not to fake it! He must be UNABLE to escape your bonds. This is critical. In a man's mind,if it's not real, it isn't happening. You will lose the impact of what you are trying to accomplish.
Now, once you have immobilized your husband, think of wonderful things to do to him. Make him lick your toes or elsewhere! Rub your body all over him and remind him that he can do nothing about it in his present condition. But most of all, reiterate that you are the one in charge and you could keep him there for hours. Let him know all the things he can do to please you once he is released.
If he's the talky type, put your panties or a gag in his mouth to keep him quiet. Especially if he's the type to say too much and ruin the mood. Have fun and do whatever comes to mind, but make it a part of your weekly routine.

Some location suggestions:
A dining room chair
The closet rod
Bent over the ottoman
An arm chair
Hogtied
Like a Mummy
Bent over a chair
Standing by your bedside while you watch TV

Or variations in the bed: Spread eagle face up, spread eagle face down, sitting up arms out to the sides, kneeling facing headboard with arms to the sides, on the floor, on the floor kneeling facing footboard. This is only limited by your imagination.
Remember to have fun!

Sunday

The Wife makes the rules...

Now you are in charge. The boss. The queen. The Goddess. But probably you were already in charge of home, children, or social relations. Now your husband is a part of your dominion. Be clear with your expectations for behavior and what you expect from him.

You are going to be the goddess he is looking for. You are going to use his sexual desire to have control over him. When you tap into that primitive part of his personality, serving you is going to become erotic to him. He will be enslaved by his love for you, and that too will be erotic for him.

So you are starting a process of slow growth. He is too. You and he are going to change how you relate, and you are going to change for the better. You are going to hit bumps in the road. You will have to communicate. It will not be easy. But it should be fun.

If you are going to control him, you need to understand him. Their is no replacement for communication. There is no replacement for exploring and seeing what you like and what works for you. Most of all, have fun. If you aren't having fun, you are doing it wrong!

Saturday

Kinky sex is fun. Now go do it.

If you and your lover are open-minded and a bit adventurous, kinky sex can can be the ultimate answer for your sexual blahs. The problem is, everyone talks about it, but hardly anyone knows how to do it. Kinky sex is exciting but bewildering. It's a world of primal fantasies, bizarre costumes, and scary-sounding terms like "B&D" (Bondage and Discipline) and "S&M" (Sadism and Masochism), but no one tells you how far to go or where to begin. Even sophisticated lovers find themselves lost.


Whatever you try first, remember this: kinky sex is the opposite of normal sex, where you try to be spontaneous and close to your mate "in the moment." In successful kinky sex, you escape the here and now; you fly away on a fantasy or touch a deeply buried desire. Accomplishing this takes a little imagination, a bit of knowhow, and some planning. Without preparations, you can expect a failure the first time you try kinky sex.

Make sure you have everything thing you need on hand to immobilize your man prior to starting. Make him get it together for you until you become more comfortable with it. Always remember to make sure your husband can't escape. Make it real and not pretend, He has to really be your captive. The whole turn-on in a bondage scene is your husband being able to tug at his restraints and feel like he can't get away. Plain old rope always works or you can use cuffs which are snugged to his wrists with straps and snapped together with a clip. Or you can slip a rope or tie into the cuff and tie him to anything you desire.

Once you begin to enjoy being a Domestic Dominatrix, your shopping trips will never be the same. Every store you go into will give you ideas and bring a smile to your face. You can buy leashes and collars in the pet department, masks in the beauty department, clothes pins in housewares and ropes and pulleys and hooks and chains in the hardware department. Now you're getting the idea.

Deciding what fantasy you want to act out, getting the equipment, and planning the scene is part of the turn-on of kinky sex. The "getting ready" leads to anticipation and excitement and breaks through the barriers that keep you from imagining and then acting out beyond your usual sexual limits.

Once they get started, most couples find that exotic sex play is so exciting they automatically begin to think of new more exotic improvements for next time.

There's nothing perverted or wrong about experimenting with sex in a loving manner, no matter what you do -- so long as both partners are willing. Also remember to mix it up often. Even kinky sex can become boring if you do the same thing every time.

On being creative...

Here's this wonderful person, who wants you to dominate him. You tie him up, and he is helpless, wriggling with anticipation and lust... and now what do you do?

Play with him! There are all kinds of common objects that produce intense and enjoyable sensations when applied to a helpless lover. Combs for dragging across the skin, feathers for tickling a frantic foot, clothespins (use a couple or use many in artistic rows--these can be as intense as you want to make them!), ice cubes, chocolate syrup, strawberries (ever see 9 1/2 Weeks?), leather belts for slapping or spanking, hairbrushes for scuffing or beating, and of course your own fingers, mouth, genitals, and everything else. Enjoy taking your time with your willing victim; drive him to distraction, then bring him to the edge of ecstasy, then back off and make him beg for more!

Remember, you can set the mood as you wish. You can be playful, amused at your own ineptitude even while your husband is moaning with desire. You can be stern and commanding, sympathetic but nasty, jolly yet sadistic--anything you please. As long as you focus your attention on your husband, your love slave will have a great time! Relax, go with the flow, and do what you enjoy.

Of course, there's no need to feel like you need to put all your attention into pleasing your hubby-slave; what's a good slave for if not for pleasing his Goddess? There is no doubt that with pleasure it is as good to give as to receive. Just remember, communicate, be sensitive to what your man is feeling, and you'll have no problem.

The one thing that is quite important to remember as a Domestic Dominatrix is that you are responsible for your husband who has placed great trust in you. As you begin playing, you may well be placing him in situations in which he is physically helpless and/or emotionally vulnerable. It is important that you recognize he is placing a great deal of trust in you, and this is one of the many benefits of this lifestyle, increased trust and emotional intimacy.

And don't be limited by preconceptions of what you "ought" to be doing, or worries about how you're not topping "correctly". If you start to feel pressured or insecure, take a step back, and ask yourself what you want out of the scene. Be honest, not only with your husband, but with yourself.

If you still don't have any ideas, and if your man is really hot to trot, you can always start playing with your love-slave and getting them excited in whatever way you know how, and demand that he tell you a fantasy of his, or you'll stop. Talking dirty to each other--trading hot fantasies, knowing that you can make them happen if you want to--is the best way of getting ideas for scenes. This actually goes for ALL sexual play, have fun and be confident, after all this is what your man asked for.

Friday

Wanna be closer to your husband? Spank him.

Scientists have found that spanking your man can actually boost your bond. After spanking, the study found that couples reported increases in relationship closeness. As a domestic dominatrix, that didn't surprise me a bit.

Spanking your husband can equal very hot foreplay! What's the allure? It takes responsibility and pressure away from your partner, even if only for a very short time. That person is no longer in charge...and that can be a very freeing feeling. Often, this type of foreplay (and role-play) can transport the couple to a different time and space -- which really pumps up the eroticism factor!

You DON'T have to be into pain or S/M to enjoy these activities -- after all, love taps can be just as arousing as a forceful smack! Just remember to always play it safe and follow my spanking tips and tricks. They're sure to send your partner into erotic overload:

1. Warm-up is important. Start the spanking session by slightly cupping your hands and lightly hitting each buttock one at a time, always targeting the fleshy, middle part of his butt.

2. A good way to gauge how hard you should spank is to watch your husbands reaction. If he's having a tough time taking it, use a lighter touch. But if he tells you to spank him harder, by all means go for it!

3. Gently rub the skin after every few strokes. Rubbing creates a more sensual vibe, increases blood flow, and allows your partner to take the next stroke with more ease.

4. Lightly scratch the buttocks with your fingernails after you rub them to boost arousal.

5. Once you've created a nice rosy hue on the buttocks, cool his buns down with ice between smacks. The ice is soothing -- but the slick surface will make your next smack sting even more!

6. Try different positions while spanking. Making him bend down and touch his toes creates a taut bottom, rendering the sting of your hand much more powerful! Have him bend over a chair or lay across the ottoman, use your imagination.

7. Put him over your knee for some good old-fashioned fun!

8. If the spanking is more punitive than foreplay, forget the above niceties and let him have it. Make sure to forgive and forget afterwards, that's the reason for the punishment. Be sure to lecture him about what is causing the discipline while you are spanking as well.

Try my tips, and I guarantee you'll have a spanking good time. Do you dare?

Reader comments:

Tammy
I spank my husband and our relatioship is the better for it. When he is getting a real spanking he gets restrained so I can punish him to my satisfaction, when it’s for play I’ll bend him over something or over the lap. I believe in every man is still a little boy that requires constant attention and correction. If you start early in the relationship you will have a much better and loving relationship!


Bill
My wife started spanking me about 8 years ago (we’ve been married 19 years.) We got into a HUGE fight and upon making up, she declared how badly she wanted to paddle my butt. I said OK and we did (sort of in jest but after 20-30 wacks my bottom was sore.) Making a long story short, my wife got so turned on by it that it’s been a frequent activity of ours. I get spanked about once every 2 weeks and it’s a great stress reliever. We now have several hairbrushes and paddles. The tough part is keeping this from our kids. Once our kids are out of the house, I can almost always count on her standing in the doorway with a hairbrush in her hand (and I know what that means.) More people should try this. It has brought us closer than you could imagine!

Frank
My wife has been spanking me for foreplay for quite a number of years.

Recently I gave myself to it properly without feeling guilty and I was amazed. Even the next day I was still feeling the elation. So much so that I wrote her a love letter in thanks. It made me feel so close to her for some reason that I almost wanted to worship her. I think she is fantastic to do this when she is not made that way, but she does say that seeing me switched on switches her on.

Anonymous
My wife started this about 2 years ago after/during a huge argument on vacation. I still don’t know how she got me to drop ‘em the first time, but I did, and she gave it to me but good with my belt.

It was a turning point in our relationship and things are better for it.


Karen
The “punishment” spankings leave us feeling closer and the air is cleared. I have found that in most spanking relationships, there is very little of the resentment buildup that goes on in most vanilla relationships.

Gina
I have been spanking my husband for years. It has corrected what would have been a failing marriage. I do not go easy on him during a spanking. A good spanking over your knee will definitely set him straight during an argument. I often Spank him with a long thin spanking paddle you can get them on ebay . This could be done for many reasons. Like him not caring about your likes and dislikes. Last week I asked him for money for a pedicure, he hemmed and hawed about how it was a waste of money. OK I marched him upstairs and put him over my knee I blistered his bottom until it was glowing red I then had him step into a pair of pink floral panties I then had him put his jeans on . He apologized several times and handed the money over.We went out to dinner at the restaurant I asked him how the panties felt and if his bottom was still on fire ? He said ” Yes ma am it still stings a little the panties feel wonderful thank you for letting me wear them ” and when we got home I had him give me a foot massage for an hour.

Anyhow to make a long story short :
Spank Him ! He will love you for it !
Spank him for fun ! Spank him for discipline! Spank him to relieve your stress !

Guys love to be spanked and controlled by women And this will definitely bring him closer to you


Julie
After reading so much about this subject. I was unsure on how to initiate the spanking. I gave it weeks of thought.Finally i ordered him over my knee naturally he thought it to be sexual and complied . When I brought the first swat to his bottom he was shocked however he did not try to escape . I gave him 25 more hard blows with the back of my bog wooden hair brush .

What a stress reliever ! wow . Since then I spank him at least once or twice in a weeks time. I always explain to him who is in control when he is being spanked .

Our relationship has taken a turn for its best. He is much closer to me now and is more aware of my needs and wants.
What used to be a rogue husband is now my husband, best friend. This has relives a lot of his tension as well as my own. It is also a load of fun! It sure is better than arguing all the time !


Lady D
My Logic? I am in a business where I get paid to spank many of your husbands.

Most of these guys are typical macho business men away on trips .

My advice is to use what Is called domestic discipline.
You do not need to be an expert.
Step 1:
Find your tool.
Use a flat wooden hair brush, back scrubber, spatula, etc...a nice big wooden spoon works well and also is very quiet if privacy is needed . use the smooth back side of the spoon. Any of these will work, but I recommend buying a spanking paddle. They are all over the net.However for beginners the wooden brush or spoon is very effective.

Now that you have your tool . You need to put him over your knee it must be done this way to gain a powerful presence over him .
Even if your man is a big burly guy you can position him over your knee easily it may take a few try to figure this out . The only other way it should be done is with him bent over a chair with his behind in the air slightly. You will then have a powerful position over him.

begin the spanking by swating light but fast to the dead center of one of his cheeks .Then the other, alternate between the two cheeks . Keep the swats in the same spot every time and always on the meaty part of his bottom. increase the strength as you go on

Be very verbal during this.Let him know why you are spanking him. Let him know who is in charge in your home. Let him know why you are mad with him . Ask him if he understands? ask him if he is going to be good.

The spanking should end when you feel satisfied or he is crying . Or he is complying to what ever it is you were trying to achieve.

After this has ended you will feel a great relief as well and he will have a whole new outlook.

ALL men will love and respect you for this. Most men pay me to do this do them.

All men should be paddled now and then!

Enjoy!!!!


Doug
My wonderful wife Has spanked me often.
When ever we get into an argument I am often brought to the middle of the room where I am stripped down to the satin thong panties she makes me wear. She says thongs will not get in the way in case a paddling is necessary. I am placed over her knees basically on all fours but just over her knee. She goes to work with her discipline. When it is finally over She is in a better mood and we both have forgotten what the argument was we just agree that she was in-fact right. Once in a while this will lead to great sex. Most of the time it just leaves me with a big erection in the satin women’s thong panties and clear understanding that she is a true goddess.

I really and truly love her for this. I would never think of leaving her. Even though we have some differences, my wife and her paddle always seem to work it all out.

Thursday

Art of Tease

Three hours ago, you started a little game. It was a harmless game; a little exercise in control. He allowed himself to be tied spread-eagled to the four posts of the bed. He was already aroused by the time you had taken off your clothes, changed into a thong and a bra and took up a position next to his head. You stroked his chest hair, allowing your hands to lightly brush against his nipples. You kissed deeply. You went down on him, moistening him and sensitizing him to your touch. You mounted him, helping yourself to his desire. As his body approached climax, you could feel him increasing what little thrust his bonds allowed him and you started to rise. He rose up to meet you, to keep him inside of you…but, tied as he was, he could not stay inside. You rose off his penis, letting its tip stay just at the entrance, then pulled completely off, leaving it reaching and throbbing helplessly in the air. You allowed yourself to linger there, just inches from the tip of his penis as his body, arched up towards the ceiling, eventually gave out and collapsed back on the bed.

During the next few hours, you've repeated the process using all forms of stimulation. He has arrived at the brink of his orgasm dozens of times, each time left with nothing but air, in a vain search for friction. In the mean time, you have enjoyed several orgasms; orally, manually; even one you gave yourself with a vibrator while he licked the crack of your butt. Only one thing remains…desire for release. You stand back to look at his delicious body; sweating and heaving, and consider if you'll allow him to reach his desired orgasm. Should you take pity on him? Show him mercy? The answer is negative.... you should keep him that way...

~ There is no denying the joy of denial ~

If you find any excitement in power and control, even for just a little while, you will adore the rush of Teasing and Denial games (T&D). T&D is an enjoyable gift you give your husband. You will be spending a large amount of time focused on him and his body, so he should be thankful for your time and effort. Tease and denial is enjoyable for both of you…so be sure to revel in your power!

Why Tease and Deny?

Two words: Power and control. In the realm of harmless fun, nothing approaches the rush of power you get to enjoy in sexually frustrating your husband. Nothing compares to the control you have when you create a sense of sexual desperation, and then, at your whim, delay gratification of that desire.
Your husband will love it as well. Here you're demonstrating a keen interest and focus on him and on his sexuality. Your confidence shows and grows right before his eyes. He can spiral in his desperation as each new activity brings him closer and closer to over-stimulation. You are playing him like a puppet, and he is helpless to resist.

Wednesday

A reader asks???

Dear DD,

My husband and I are going to try a bit of tying up at the weekend. He would like me to tie him up and blindfold him. I'm really looking forward to trying this but I'm afraid my imagination is limited and I'm not sure what to do to make his experience really different. He loves visuals usually so I guess I will have to work harder than normal if he can't see.

What do you do and what would he want done? Any tips or ideas you can share with me? Heck, step by step instructions would help!

Congratulations, you are on your way to a new lifetime of fun!

First, if he is asking for this, he wants you to be in control. So, it's about that. He is surrendering control to you. There of coruse would remain questions about whether he wants you to inflict any pain or just tease him for a while. But control is at issue, and he wants you to be the boss, and probably pay him no heed if he complains. As far as pain, his nipples are a good place to start.

First, if you can, do not do it at a preset time. If you already know what ngiht, and there is a normal time, make it earlier. But do it as a surprise. Walk out with whatever you are going to use and tell him it is time. It would be ideal if you walked out dressed in something sexy, but not necessarily revealing. When you walk out tell him that he is going to follow instructions. Be the boss.

When you tie him up, take charge. He should not be allowed to cum in short order, Although he might be very excited he is not asking for this with the idea of you getting him off in a few minutes. Tease him mercilessly, but if he gets close, stop for a bit.

Also, make him please you, and while you do it, eroticize your body. When he is tied up, put your breasts in front of his face, and make him please them and play a little keep away. Straddle his head and make him lick you. When you do both, tell him to lick what you present him, do not tell him what it is, and then when he does, ask him how he likes it, ask him if there is anything that tastes better. When he is first licking a nipple, ask him if there is anything that tastes better, and if he says no, you can be mad if you think your Ass should, etc... Until he says he likes something better, then do not give him anything else. Make him admit he wants to eat you out. And then tell him that he better do a great job on your nipples, because he does not deserve to taste you yet.

When you want to finish, then how you do is up to you. Perform oral on him if you choose, but he should definitely perform it on you, and pay homage to your ass while he is at it. And no orgasm for him.

Consider also teasing him with things on his genitals. Maybe you use a feather duster, lightly slap and squeeze his balls or tie them up.

Finally, if you really need ideas, just remember, you can tie him to anything, anywhere and have fun with him in any way you choose. Just tease him enough to keep him hard and occasionally more, but NO orgasm for him. Absolutely make sure YOU orgasm, either from his oral talents, or rubbing yourself off on his body or even from penetration if you think he can control himself for your pleasure.

Always "At Attention"

I cannot overemphasize the fact that your husband must be kept in a sexually desperate state FOR YOU at all times. You can grant him the pleasure of orgasm anytime you choose of course, and in any way. However, it is imperative that he remain constantly longing for you. Believe me, he will relish being the "luckiest stiff" around. The way to accomplish this is to keep him on edge, better known as "edging".
Stimulate him almost to the point of orgasm and then stop, over and over if you have the time, but at least once a day. You want to keep him hard for you as often as possible. When you are done make sure to acknowledge the fact that it is YOUR choice when stimulation will occur and stop. It doesn't have to be a big time consuming scene either, just a few strokes or a few minutes when you are alone is effective as well. Just get into the habit. Try getting him hard and then give him a list of chores you want performed and send him on his way.

Monday

New meaning to the phrase "going parking".

Parking your husband is a great way to give him some time in the ropes to satisfy his kinky streak while giving you time you need to do what you need or want to do. Especially when my husband is pestering and groping at me or I just want to be left alone to finish something, I will inform him that it's "time to go to the park".
I instruct him to go to the area of my choosing, usually our closet. There I will have him raise his hands and tie him to the closet rod and close the door on him. Just make sure he can't escape. If I plan to leave him there longer than 30 or 40 minutes, I will tell him to bring a dining room chair with him to sit on and then tie his feet and hands.
I will sometimes put my panties in his mouth or clothes pins on his nipples, a blindfold or whatever sounds fun at the time. If I am feeling particularly generous I will put a vibrator down the front of his pants before going off to finish what I was working on. Then I just listen in or check on him every once in a while.
This is another activity that doesn't require much of your time, but has the effect you are looking for. Of course other times I will tie him up and keep him on the edge of orgasm for an hour or so. What fun!
As with any fun you are having, make sure he knows that these activities only happen when he is performing well in areas and tasks that are important to you and that you choose.

Friday

You are fully clothed, he is not.

Make it a habit of telling your husband to strip as frequently as is convenient. We have 3 children at home, so this isn't as easy as it might be for some. But once the children are asleep, it's birthday suit for him. I of course wear whatever I want. Sometimes it's pajamas, sometimes lingerie or bra and panties, but mostly it's whatever I had on during the day. Assuming there is no task or work you want him to perform outside, whenever you have time alone together, instruct him to take off his clothes.
Then he can rub your feet, bring you a drink, work around the house, whatever. The beauty of this is that it requires no effort from you other than telling him what to do. He is also exposed for fondling, swatting, etc...for your amusement.